Dear Woman Driving With a CD Hanging From Her Rear View Mirror,
Hi! You may not remember me, I was driving behind you the other day. I know I’m probably not the first person to ride your ass, judging by all the dents and scratches on your car, but I remember you. You, and people like you, will always hold a special place in my heart…
You see, I wish I knew you better. I have an intense need, as a fan of music, to understand such an intense love one must have for a band. A love so deep that the only way you can find to illustrate it is to thread a string through a hole in a CD and then tie it to your mirror. I mean obviously you are aware of both the laws you break by doing so, as well as the safety risk you pose to others as you blind us with the glare of a thousands suns as your CD shines in our eyes on the road. But you soldier on.
Moreover I am mystified by two things about you:
- You obviously have yet to embrace the technology of the mp3. Way to keep it real. Real 1995. What all these modern era music lovers don’t understand is that the invention of the mp3 doesn’t allow oneself to add flair to their driving experience. Honestly, who wants to drive around town with an unobstructed view of the road and potential children crossing crosswalks on any given day? Not you!
- Assuming the former to be true, that you both have no mp3 player to speak of, and have now hung your favorite CD from the rear view mirror of your car… HOW THE FUCK DO YOU LISTEN TO IT!?!?! Does your vintage Steely Dan CD have a quick release lanyard that allows you to get to it the moment you need a shitty music fix? What the fuck does hanging a CD from your mirror DO for you?
In closing, I hope this letter finds you well. I would one day like very much to sit down with you and discuss this further. I know our paths may not cross again, but everytime I see the glint in another drivers eye, I will think of you and the temporary blindness you chose to share with me once upon a time.
Sincerely,
Jrodius
Actual picture of car
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