I’m sitting at the crotch doctor’s office with m’lady yesterday and I begin to realize how we as men live in an entirely different world from women. It was like I had crossed enemy lines. There was a flyer on the counter for “Intimate Reconstruction Surgery” which I found out was a code word for getting a Labia Lift. Every painting was by Mary Cassatt which is odd because it seems Georgia O’Keefe is much more on point for a Gyno’s office.
While I am sitting in the office I notice this gem of a product sitting on the counter as well:
Gross. Here’s my take on it. First off has there ever been a more female name for a product in the history of humans than Vagifem? Secondly, if I had named my company Vagifem I don’t think I would market my tablets by smacking a label on hand sanitizer. “When you think of Vagifem, think stinky pinky.” Not exactly the worlds greatest marketing idea.
Like I said I was behind enemy lines, so the best I could do was try and be a spy for the rest or malekind. Prepare yourself men…
{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }
OMG dude, Laughing sooooo haard…. My husband wont even stay in the room when my doc does my exam… I am on the count down 6 more days for my kiddo, and I wasn’t sure my husband was aware where the kid was gonna come from. He said it didnt matter he didnt want to be there in the exam room with “that tool”.. huh??? “the crotch cranker” is what he calls the forceps… hahahahaha. I will tell you that being pregnant, I do gross myself out ALLL the time, and think that men have it WAYYY easier!
I spent years selling to Ob/Gyn offices and leaving “reminder” items like that sanitizer. I recall that on the elevator ride up, my eyes would glaze over and I would look straight ahead the whole time there. That made it a little hard to actually have a conversation with a doctor who I was there to sell to, but then again, I figured even if I ran into those same doctors in the grocery store I probably couldn’t face them…
um, but yeah, I’ve matured a bit since then…sort of :)
I could never get my husband to go to the crotch doctor with me. He showed up at the delivery and passed out. How funny this is to hear your take on the whole office visit.
LOL! Crotch Doc, that’s a gem! My wife would have, kneed me in the nuts, if I would let somethin like that slip.
Been to the Crotch Doc, Survived(watching) a Cesarean, and a normal birth, without passing out, thank you. The normal(for us guys, even that ain’t normal), birth, did however interrupt a Great Sushi lunch I was having, in Downtown Berkeley.
I know, I know, how insensitive of her, right?
So, now… NO MORE BABIES, NO MORE CROTCH DOC, NO MORE INSENSITIVE WIFE. If I do, ever have a, “girlfriend, ladyfriend, fwb”, whatever, I’ll wait in the car!
Peace.
Great post! I have actually been hit several times from calling the x-wife’s doctor her crotch doctor. I didn’t mind child birth, 1 from C-section and 2 natural; but I draw the line on crotch doctors. It’s just unnatural for a man to want to finger around all day long in strange womenfolk’s crotches and talk with his patients while looking them in the eye like he had been checking their feet. My first and one of my only times going to the crotch Dr. I wondered what he was going to say when he poked his head out from under the wife’s gown. He drank a sip of coffee and told her she could get dressed and he’d see her next time. Didn’t phase him a bit.
You kill me. LMAO. Where have you been all my life?