An Open Letter

An Open Letter To The Husband Of The Couple That Sits Next To Us AT Pregnancy Class:

First of all, Thank You.  When the instructor asked the class which couples were waiting to find out what sex their child was going to be, you had the balls to state, “That Sucks” as we raised our hands.  Too often in America do people dilute their opinions in the interest of good taste and/or basic manners.  You Sir are no such man.  You stick to your guns despite how your assertion may make my wife and myself feel about our decision.

And Bravo Sir!  For each week, despite the fact you are the only one in the class not having your child at the very hospital where you are taking this class, you never stop asking if every bit of information given is true for your hospital of choice as well.  You continue to ask this question, even three weeks into the class, despite the fact that at least twice a night the instructor tells you she has no idea what your hospital’s rules are.  Some people may say that makes you dense, or a dumbass.  I on the other had applaud your fortitude.  Many men would come up short of having the resolve to keep asking this question when the snickering in your direction started in week two. But you showed them, didn’t you?

Your wife is a lucky lady as well.  In week two when the instructor told us all to make sure you keep up the positive reinforcement to put our partners at ease, you had the honesty to tell the instructor that your wife is “stubborn.”  Well played Sir.  You see, I realize that honesty is the cornerstone of every good relationship.  So when you chose to express your wisely chosen adjective, I knew you were merely sweet talking your lady and letting her know that you love her.  Hugs and Kisses can only go so far.  Am I right?

And finally.  Last night after watching the first of our three birthing videos, you chose to use words like “shrapnel” and “carnage” to best express what you had just seen.  Everyone else was just hating on your eloquence when they cringed at your choice of words.  Not enough plaudits go your way for being a renaissance man capable of stringing along words of such vibrant imagery.

I for one Sir hope that our last two weeks together can be the beginning of a beautiful friendship.  One that blossoms to the point of you being invited to my child’s first birthday, only to be the only man there with enough gumption to let my child know that one day they, too, will die.  Or that they should never hang out with black people because that would make them a race trader.

Like I said…  Can’t wait!

Sincerely Yours,

The Guy Next To You That Hates Your Guts

Tagged as: birth, labor, open letter, pregnancy, video