Bumper Sticker Blasphemy

I was driving home from the track yesterday, where I hit two trifectas, when I saw a car in front of me with a sticker in the window.  Let me, first, go on record saying that for the most part I hate stickers on cars.  Yes, I had a few bands on the windows of my cars in my early 20’s and I guess band stickers still don’t bother me much.  What does bother me is all the lame shit people put on their cars promoting their stupid agendas.  Whether it’s a hippie agenda, a civil rights agenda, I don’t care.  And furthermore, what attention are you not getting in your daily life that you need to seek it out through bumper stickers?  Don’t even get me started on the fucking people with the little caricatures of their family members.  Why would I care if you have three little kids and a dog?  What I do care about is that the people with the lame caricatures are inevitably the worst drivers on the road.

Cut back to me on the freeway yesterday.  The car in front of me has a sticker with the phrase “POWERED BY PRAYER.”  I’m instantly fuming.  First of all as I stated earlier “I Don’t Care”, secondly I bet if that person tried to start the car that morning with no gas in the tank they would rethink that statement.  I maintain their are a number of greater fuels for machinery than prayer.  But then my anger subsided as I pulled up close to the car because the spoiler would cover up the bottom of the word “PRAYER”, that combined with the odd font choice made it look as if it read “POWERED BY BEAVER”.  This amused me greatly.

Which brings me to my point.  I think more than any other car stickers, religious ones piss me off the most.  Mainly because I find many of the ones that anger me ignorant or condescending.  To help illustrate this point I have included some examples from a very popular Christian sticker site, which will remain nameless as to not give them any business. The site has literally hundreds if not thousands of stickers that I have no problem with.  They are mostly gentle and meaningless to me.  But there are some that just piss me off too.

First up:

Now to me this is a very violent image.  It literally speaks to me as killing for Christ.  While a very historically accurate representation of the Christian religion from MY perspective, I am guessing I am not their target audience.  So what am I to think of a person, or company, that would display a logo like this?   Is this not an hypocritical example of the very same religious extremism we label Islam with?  You can’t have it both ways.

I don’t even know where to start with this one.  If I think too hard about it it seems to trap me into a logic-less loop, like an M.C. Escher study in stupidity.  What is this even supposed to mean?  That Christians aren’t religious?  That Christianity isn’t a religion?  Either way, I can’t see how this is helping the owner’s cause.

First of all this comes off really gay.  Which I imagine can’t be the goal of a member of the “Prayer Patrol.”  Secondly despite the blue-ribbon-in-pig-calling look of the logo, isn’t the thought of people going around and forcing prayer a bit scary?  It’s like Jesus has his own Gestapo.

I know these are extreme examples, but obviously they have an audience or they wouldn’t exist.  So please people, think for a second next time before you go littering your cars with stupid shit.  Remember, you’re not the one that has to look at it for 45 minutes in bumper to bumper traffic, we are.  And we mostly hate you for it.