So my new job has me working at a warehouse for a discount department store.  Imagine any evil nationwide entity where you choose to buy both tampons and TV’s and you have a 33% chance of being correct.  The fascinating thing about working here is I had no idea some of the crazy shit that crosses the shelves of America everyday.  I look at the things my employees move around everyday and am just fascinated at some of the things people have thought of to make a buck.

And every once in awhile I get super hater-jealous at an idea I can’t believe I didn’t think of.  Case in point, I present to you the Robo-Sapiens:

I don’t know anything about this product.  I don’t know if it is fun, if it’s cool or even if it functions.  All I know is that I am ridiculously jealous of the play on words that passed me by when I failed to turn “Homo” into “Robo”.  But as George Bush so elegantly put once upon a time, “Fool me once shame on… shame on you.  Fool me… you can’t get fooled again.”

So I have chosen today in this forum to announce my new line of adult action figures called Robo-Sexuals.  And like any good toy it has to have substance.  So instead of the age old classic kung-fu grip, Robo-Sexuals will just make a fist on one hand.   And we also know any good robo-toy needs to have transformation powers.  So the other hand will shape-shift into a lube dispensing power cannon.  The robot comes dressed in a finely tailored suit but when its light meter senses that it’s after 9:00pm the suit transforms into cut off jeans, mesh shirt and ascot.

However understanding my target market I do understand that not every person would openly play with the toy so for those still not ready to take the plunge there is the Limited “No-Robo” Edition.  Which allows even the proudest straight man play with the toy to his heart’s content while still proudly asserting his staunch “No Robo” stance.

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